We stop at a
liquor store and he gets a 12 pack of beer and
some orange juice. We go to a park in a woodsy
area and open up the doors to the van and put on
some music. I sit on a picnic table that is near
the van and we all just play some 3 handed joker
spades in the back of the van. After about a half
hour when Jeff is beating the hell out of us in
the game, a cop car comes rushing into the park
with its sirens flashing.
Two cops get out of the car and come over to the
van and tell us to get out. We get out and I walk
over to the car. Joe almost falls down getting
out of the van and one of the cops ask him if he
is drunk. He looks up at the cop and tells him to
fuck off. The officer walks over to him and yells
"What?" at him. Joe shoves him and the policeman
grabs an arm and the other cop comes over to
help. Jeff tries to run off and the second cop
catches him after about three strides. The cops
call for backup as Joe and Jeff are both
struggling with them now. I sit on the hood of
the police car and watch. Another car comes
rushing up and as soon as it gets there Joe and
Jeff realize how dumb they are being and stop
They tell us that we are under arrest for being
in the park after dark and for drinking in
public. They put me in a car with Joe and Jeff in
the other car. They drive us to the police
station / courthouse / jail and bring us inside.
They book us separately and put us in the
cellblock. There are eight cells with four on
each side of a main room with picnic tables and a
television. Everyone else is in there for various
other petty crimes as well, mainly drinking in
public. Jeff is ranting about how he wants to
call his naval station and Joe goes to his cell,
unrolls his mattress and goes to sleep. I go into
my cell and sit down and start playing solitaire.
My cellmate, Chris, in for drinking in public
also, asks me if I like Gin Rummy. I tell him I
do and we start playing a game. At about midnight
some Navy officers actually do come to the jail
and Jeff leaves, promising to send us cigarettes
and money. Joe pretty much just rolls over and
falls back asleep. I tell Chris I want to sleep
as well and pass out also.
In the morning I wake up at 8 when they give us
breakfast and they tell Joe and I that we will be
going to court tomorrow. He goes back to his cell
and sleeps again and Chris and I grab the
Monopoly set and go to our cell and play Runny
Monopoly, where instead of using a pen and paper,
we kept score with the Monopoly money. Other than
going to get cigarettes and meals, which are
carted in from the local diner, that is the
remainder of my day.
At six the next morning I wake up to find out
that Joe had been released during the night.
Apparently he had some STD and the Sheriff had
offered to let him go rather than pay for the
medical treatment he would need. I go to the
courtroom and see that Jeff is there. He says he
is going to be tried in a Navy court rather than
civilian but he gave me some cigarettes and $30,
which the jailer took. After about a half hour I
go before the judge.
"How do you plead to illegal trespass in the
park?" he asks me. "Guilty, your honor."
"Drinking in Public?"
"You will come back to court in two weeks for the
"Never mind, I will plead guilty then, sir."
"Are you, in fact, guilty?"
"Then I cannot accept that plea. Bailiff!"
The bailiff comes and walks me back to the jail
area. I go back into my cell and play rummy with
Chris. He tells me that the town gets $150 for
every prisoner per day from the state, which
makes me realize why I was not allowed to change
my plea. Nothing happens for the next two weeks
except playing Gin and the Redskins squishing the
Bills in the Super Bowl. Finally my day comes in
court and I am brought before the same judge.
"How do you plead to illegal trespass?"
"And Drinking in Public?"
"Time served. You will be released in the
I go back to the jail and go back to my cell. I
have the last of the Kools that Jeff brought me
and Chris and I finally run out of money to play
with. Incredibly we end up with a tie at $7570
each. I go to sleep and in the morning the
sheriff lets me out. He tells me where the
nearest truckstop is and warns me that if they
see me hitchhiking that they will arrest me so
that I had better walk the five miles.